The woman I don’t want to be…

If you’ve seen the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I’m sure you laughed when Maria Portokalos says, “Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.”

You laughed at that, right? I did.

Another great line we all like to quote is, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

There was a post making its rounds on Facebook recently that said, “Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you!”

We women laugh at these silly quotes because we know there’s some truth to them; we know we’ve all contributed to the stereotype.

If you’re married, chances are you’ve been the neck and turned the head the way you wanted it to go.

If you’re a mother, chances are you’ve made sure the entire household felt the depth of your bad day. No smiles allowed when you’re not happy, right?

As a woman, single or married, chances are, you’ve used that tape recorder in your head to use someone else’s words against them.

Even though I can laugh at statements like these, they also make me sad. These statements represent a certain type of woman…a woman I don’t want to be.

What kind of woman do I want to be? Good question.

I want to be the kind of woman that respects my husband’s authority. My husband is the head of the family and I am the neck! But, as the neck, I want to support the head; not force it to turn the way I want it to go.

I want to be the kind of woman that encourages my family; the kind of woman that puts the happiness of my family first. Why on earth would I want my bad day to ruin the day of the people I love? I want to be the kind of woman that tucks my bad day in my heart, not the kind that wears it on my sleeve.

I want to be the kind of woman that keeps no record of wrongs. I want to delete the conversations that my mind records. I want to enter each argument with nothing but the words at hand…not unrelated words from the past.

Unfortunately, I often look more like the woman we laugh about…but my goal is be something very different. I don’t want to be “that” woman. I want to be better than that.

How about you? I’d love to hear what kind of woman you want to be…





1 thought on “The woman I don’t want to be…”

  1. I really loved your article regarding hope. I am in a phase of regret and self loathing I know Father God loves me I struggle to love myself. Thank you

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